Honestly, its an every day occurrence. My parents are the best comedy team since Lucy and Desi, with a little Frank and Marie thrown in. Just come to my parents house on a Sunday for pasta dinner, you are guaranteed to hear my dad often referred to as "asshole" or a "Som-mn-nah bitch" (my moms favorite phrase she never says correctly). My mom might use these terms of endearment for all sorts of reasons...lets see...could be because my mom walked too close to him and dad grabbed her butt...or boob...or he gave her stretchy pants a good tug. Its like something comes over him. We will all be sitting at the kitchen table talking and out of nowhere my dad yells..."READYYYY...SETTTTT...and by the time he says GO...he is on his way to my mom...if shes sitting...he tries to wiggle on her lap...if shes standing...its a great big bear hug from behind...all the while shes yelling "GENE...MY HEAD......GET OFF ME YOU SOMMANAH...he ignores her...trying to snuggle closer...eventually you will see mom try to knock him on the head with her lame attempt at making a fist. Once in a while she will connect and we hear the klunk from her knuckles on his skull...never stops him...don't think he feels it at all.
My dad is the king at rattling my moms cage. Here are a few tips at how to annoy your partner directly from my dads archive. At the dinner table, make sure your spouce is sitting to your right. Gently stir your hot coffee, raise the spoon, and fling the little left over droplets at your wife, or just simply lay the hot spoon on her hand. Not sure how your spouce will react, but my moms reaction is always the same..."OUCH ....YOU SOMMANAH..." and the flying fist comes out again. More dinner table antics.... when mom brings out her famous chicken soup ...she warns us, "be careful the soup is hot"...my dad says..."lets see" and sticks his finger in her bowl of soup..."yup...its hot". Of course the swear words start flying again, usually this time she adds..."you think i'm gonna eat this after your hands have been in it...your hands are filthy... full of fish guts and worms!!!" This leads me into more reasons my dad is called "asshole" often. Fishing...dad loves to fish, now that he's retired...he fishes just about everyday. Mom gets so sad when it rains, rain means no fishing that day....rain means interruptions from him while shes trying to watch QVC...Mom hates rain.
My dad is the king at rattling my moms cage. Here are a few tips at how to annoy your partner directly from my dads archive. At the dinner table, make sure your spouce is sitting to your right. Gently stir your hot coffee, raise the spoon, and fling the little left over droplets at your wife, or just simply lay the hot spoon on her hand. Not sure how your spouce will react, but my moms reaction is always the same..."OUCH ....YOU SOMMANAH..." and the flying fist comes out again. More dinner table antics.... when mom brings out her famous chicken soup ...she warns us, "be careful the soup is hot"...my dad says..."lets see" and sticks his finger in her bowl of soup..."yup...its hot". Of course the swear words start flying again, usually this time she adds..."you think i'm gonna eat this after your hands have been in it...your hands are filthy... full of fish guts and worms!!!" This leads me into more reasons my dad is called "asshole" often. Fishing...dad loves to fish, now that he's retired...he fishes just about everyday. Mom gets so sad when it rains, rain means no fishing that day....rain means interruptions from him while shes trying to watch QVC...Mom hates rain.
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