Nobodys perfect...

My dad is the cutest, funniest, sweetest, most adorable person on earth, but I have to admit he does have a weird side. We just accept it, ignore it, and even laugh about it.
One day I went to my parents house, and my father was in his weird mode. He was banging on his head, tilting his head, doing that hop on one foot to get water out of your ear thing. So I asked, "Dad, whats wrong?" Mom never gave him a chance to answer, "He's an asshole, can't you see. His ear is plugged and he's acting like a lunatic ok?" She always says "ok?" when she's on a rampage. I'm like..."OK!"

I go find my dad, now he's at the bathroom sink, pouring full glasses of water directly in his ear....cautiously, I say, "Dad...what are you doing"...he says "I'm trying to flush it out". I'm watching him in disbelief...first the glass of water in the ear, then tilted head bounces over the sink, over and over again. He says "its not working"...I'm thinking "shocking". My mother yells from the other room. "Just leave him alone Lori, he's been doing this for 2 hours, driving me insane ok?" My dad gets out one of those bulb pointy sucker things you use to clean boogers out of babies noses. Again he dumps the water in his ear then uses that sucky thing to suck everything out of his ear. I can't believe what I'm seeing. I can't watch anymore. I go find my mother in kitchen. We can hear the water, then the slurping noise from the sucking thing....water, slurp, water, slurp...then silence.
He stopped, water is off, no more slurping noises. I look at my mom, I was about to say, " maybe it worked after all", then we heard the shop vac turn on in the basement. Mom and I could not run down the stairs fast enough. There he was, with the shop vac hose up to his ear. I yelled "DAD, turn that off, are you nuts!!!" My mom yells "GOOD! I HOPE YOU SUCK YOUR BRAINS OUT YOU ASSHOLE!!!"