The Bigger The Better

As I've mentioned before, my dad likes all his clothes to be extra large. This is especially true for his underwear. He likes boxer briefs, on a normal man, these underwear would go to the upper thigh. Well, on my dad they stop just above his knees. His white t-shirts are also extra large, so they hang down to about the knee also. Let's not forget his large white socks that come up just below the knee. What a sight he is.

Every night my dad takes a bath. It's usually around 8:00 or 9:00 o'clock. By then Rose is settled down on her couch, in her jammies, watching her DVR'ed episodes of Judge Judy. All she wants to do is relax, but in comes the "little asshole" in his huge underwear, dancing a jig for her. Sometimes he dances, sometimes he comes in like the mummy dragging one leg behind him, there is also the "squeeze the knees together" walk he does. He's very creative. He does all this to entice my mom, and all she does is yell "GET OUTTA MY WAY YOU SOMMANAH BITCH, I CANT SEE JUDGE JUDY!!!!"

One night, my dad was feeling a little extra spunky. He wanted to give her a bigger thrill and actually strip for her. He dropped his drawers, and threw his dirty large underwear towards my mom. The underwear went up and landed perfectly around her head. The crotch was on the top of her head and the waistband was resting on her shoulders. Mom was struggling to get them off her head (lets be honest, her nose was probably in the way). The swear words were flying...when she finally got them off her face, she chased him into the bathroom. All the while she is yelling "You no good rotten sommanah bitch!!!

Night time is scary at their house. They do not watch TV together, mom is always in the living room and dad is in the back room. Dad visits her every once in a while much to her dismay, but she NEVER visits him, she doesn't want to stir him up. The back room is directly across from my parents bedroom. One night my dad actually beat my mom to tv watching time. He had already taken a bath and was watching a program on Animal Channel. This aggravates my mom because now she knows she has to get into the bedroom - right across from him - to get her pjs on, she just knows this will "stir him up". She decides to be sneaky. She goes in the bedroom but doesn't turn on the light, she is hoping he won't notice. She's being as quiet as possible. So far so good. She starts to undress, as soon as she is nude she hears "WOOOHOOOOOO" standing in the doorway is my dad, shining a flashlight on her nude body. (that was painful to write)