The Day I Kidnapped My Mom

As I mentioned in my blog of August 25th, my mother and I spent two weeks together at Cheryl’s house this passed summer. We went to Mystic Lake Casino just about every day. I love that casino. I win there all the time. Another bright spot Mystic Lake offers is Jeffrey, an attendee who walks around in his red jacket trying to get people to sign up for a players card. He found me one day, and then every day after that. I think Jeffrey, is "warm for my form". I always looked forward to seeing him. It's good for me to sharpen up my flirting skills once in a while.

So anyway, back to the story. After visiting Mystic for 10 days in a row. I thought a change might be nice. I mentioned Treasure Island Casino to my mom, a nice place, about an hour from Cheryl's house. I went there the previous winter, when Cheryl, Colin and my kids were going skiing at Welch. Welch is only about a five-minute drive from Treasure Island, so they dropped me off there on they’re way to the mountain. I won money there on the Monopoly slots. I thought my mom would enjoy it, something different. But Rose is a creature of habit. She does not like change. She had a fit when I mentioned going to Treasure Island. She started yelling about not knowing the lay out, about how she will get lost in there, about how I will get lost driving there, and about how she will lose money because she doesn't know which machines to play. She insisted we go back to Mystic, where she feels comfortable, so she can play the same 10 machines she plays all the time. After all her complaining she went upstairs to transform herself into the typical casino retiree.

Cheryl and Colin hatched up the plan for me to bring her to Treasure Island anyway, once she's in the car she won't have a choice. I agreed to this kidnapping plot, even though I knew I was going to have to endure an hour of mom's swearing.

So mom and I got into Cheryl's brand new 2009 BMW. It didn't take long for mom to figure out what was happening. When we pulled out of Cheryl's housing track, I took a right instead of a left and prepared myself for some serious swearing and complaining.


Mom - Lori where are you going?

Me - Surprise!!!

Mom - OH NO...turn around right now damn it, I am not going all the way to Treasure Island, I mean it, Lori turn the car around.

Me - Come on, it will be fun, we have a brand new BMW, the opened road, tunes on the radio, it will be an adventure...

Mom - I DON'T WANT AN ADVENTURE!!! GOD DAMN IT, Why do you have to torture me? I just want to go to Mystic Lake.

Me - "Blame Colin and Cheryl it was their idea, plus I am having fun whether you want to or not."

I turned up the radio so I couldn't hear her swearing. My mother turned into a spoiled two year old. Still swearing and cursing Cheryl and Colin for their roles in the plot, she stamped her foot on the car floor. She kept slamming herself around in the seat. I was ignoring her, the way you do when you have a child throwing a temper-tantrum in the grocery store. I was singing and dancing to the radio. Swaying back and forth. Every once in a while I would sway just enough to touch her shoulder to try to get her to sway with me. She would yell "STOP IT!!!" and lean herself over to her door so she was out of my reach. Now you have to understand. I grew up watching the techniques of the King of Torture, a.k.a. my dad. I studied and learned a lot from him, but I also have a few techniques in my arsenal as well, after all, if he is the king, I am the princess. So there I was singing and during the best part of a song I would stretch out my arm to my imaginary audience and my hand would be right in front of my moms face. She would whack it away. "Lori you sommonah, cut it out, turn this car around right now!!" I ignored her. Her aggravation grew, now instead of just slamming around in her seat she added the old head scratch trick. The head scratch is exactly what it sounds like. My mom rakes her nails over her scalp 3 or 4 times. This is her ultimate sign of being annoyed. Many many days at the casino, I would witness the head scratch trick. I would be winning on a machine and she would come up behind me and say she wanted to leave. I would politely say, "Mom, I am winning, go play a little longer, then we will go." She wouldn't leave, she would stand behind me, exhaling like a dragon, stamping her foot like a bull about to charge and scratching her head hard enough to draw blood. It would drive me insane, and I would have to leave my winning machine and take her home so she wouldn't miss Judge Judy. Which by the way is DVR'd.

But now I was in control, and she was going to Treasure Island whether she liked it or not. Honestly, what's not to like, its not like I was taking her to a prison camp. The ride is gorgeous, all farm land, rolling hills and gorgeous blue skies. We're in a cool car, with great tunes. What more could you ask for? The answer came to me in a flash...a cigarette, that's the problem, she can't smoke. We had been driving for about 45 minutes she is probably having nicotine withdrawal. So I nicely asked her, "Do you need a cig, is that why you are so miserable?" She blew up at me, "NO I DON'T need a cigarette, what do you think I am a fiend?? When I fly, I go hours at a time without smoking!! I am just miserable because you are making me go to Treasure Island!" She finished with a few head scratches then an elbow slam on the door. "Fine, calm down, we are almost there." And right after I made that comment, the first "Road Closed" sign appeared. Uh oh, now what, the Tom-Tom was telling me to turn down a road that was closed. I grabbed the Tom-Tom while driving and hit "Find Alternate Route". Boy, alternate route, isn't the word. Mom and I were now in the middle of nowhere, no other cars in sight. We were driving on dirt roads, which made me slow down to 20MPH so I wouldn't scratch Cheryl's car. Mom's head scratching began to increase. The Tom-Tom would say turn right, and we would be on paved roads again, then turn right, and back to dirt roads. The one-hour trip had turned into a 2.5 hour trip. I was sure mom's head was bleeding and her elbow was swollen by the time we arrived at the casino. The first thing she did when she hopped out of the car was light a cigarette. I put my arm through hers and started pulling her towards the door. I said, "Aren't you excited, we are here!!" I started my chant, money comes to me quickly and easily, money comes to me quickly and easily... She yanked her arm away, and said, "Oh yeah, I'm thrilled, I could have been at Mystic Lake for hours already, damn bitches!"

I gave mom a brief tour so she would know the layout of the casino. Then I went on my own and won $90.00 on the first machine I sat at. I was so happy, I couldn't lose, I played the Monopoly slots and doubled my money. Only 2 hours went by when I heard the dragon-breathing lady behind me. She wanted to leave!!!! I said, "Mom I am not leaving already, we just drove 2 hours to get here!". She stamped her foot and said, "We are leaving, we need to get home before dark!"

It was no use, either I had to leave or she would follow me to each machine and stand behind me breathing and scratching.

The ride home was only an hour long. I saw a detour sign and followed that, guess I missed that detour sign on the way down!

HERE IT IS...FIND IT...BUY IT...I WILL SIGN IT

Enough About Ghosts, Let's Discuss Something Really Scary...

Like spending 10 days under the same roof with my mother. It wasn't planned but somehow we both ended up at my sister Cheryl's house in Minnesota at the same time. I will be honest, it wasn't easy. We had to watch Judge Judy everyday. My mom would turn into Rain Man at 3:50pm, "Ohhh 10 minutes til Judy." "Where's the clicker? Eight minutes til Judy" She would sit in "her spot", the right side of Cheryl's couch, grab her crossword fill-ins book and her pen out of the drawer, turn the tv to channel 9 and listen to Judge Judy while doing her fill-ins. Whenever Judge Judy yelled at the poor souls standing before her, my mom would say, "I love that Judy, she don't take no shit from anyone!" Ok mom, we heard you the first 17 times! If you wanted to watch Oprah or Ellen, you were banished to the upstairs tv. The upstairs tv is slightly smaller than a movie screen, the couch is only about 5 feet away from it. But that's not the worst part, the worst part the tv is not HD ready so everything is blurry. I was banished to the upstairs tv often, it was a choice between developing a migraine watching the upstairs tv or suffer through my mothers favorite shows which included reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond, Sanford and Son and Antique Roadshow. I chose to sacrifice my eyesight and develop migraines.

Living with my mom for those 10 days I realized how stubborn she is. She likes things "her way". For instance, there is a gorgeous casino about 15 minutes away from Cheryl's house. Gambling is something my mom and I have in common. We both love love love slot machines. It's my only guilty pleasure, and I happen to be very lucky at casinos (knock on wood). If I'm in a casino and I am winning, I could stay forever. I never get bored, I have a blast for myself trying all different machines. Money isn't money to me there, it's just this stuff that allows me to play more games. I admit it's a little unhealthy, but I don't do it very often so when I'm on vacation at Cheryl's house it's a special treat I allow myself. Now, mind you, my mother has been at Cheryl's for months before I got there, and has been to the casino a zillion times. So to her it's no big deal to get there. But for me, I am pumped and excited. As soon as my eyes open, I am ready to go. It's all I can do to waste time taking a shower before I can leave for the casino. So here is an example of what I went through every morning at Cheryls.

I would wake up, remember where I was and rush downstairs. My mom was already up. I would get myself a cup of coffee and say, "Mom, I am taking a shower and going to the casino." She'd look at me and say, "Well what are we going to do for dinner?" So typical of her, she's so pre-condition to make sure she has dinner on the table for my dad everyday, it's always her first thought. But absolutely not mine, so I say. "Are you kidding me, it's only 8:00 in the morning, who cares, it's casino time, I'm taking a shower, go get ready!!" I rush through my shower, I even skip a few steps like using conditioner on my hair, why waste time on that? I get out of the shower, put my lotion on, slap on some mascara, throw on the first pair of jeans I find and a red shirt (I always try to wear red to the casino, it's lucky and it wards off the evil eye you get from people when your machine is winning and theirs is not.) Scrunch the hair, spray it and done!! I grab my sneakers run downstairs, I am so excited I turn the corner and freeze. There's my lovely mother, still in her pj's and robe. "What are you doing??? Let's go, why are you still in your robe???" "Well" she says, "I had to get Cheryl her coffee, and I think we will have chicken for dinner..." I interrupt, "WHO CARES!!! I am leaving in 10 minutes, with or without you!" She starts yelling, "Lori don't rush me, damn it, I don't like to get there too early." Trying to remain calm, I start whining, "Mommmm go get readyyyy!!! Come on, I want to go, I love that casinoooo." Finally she goes upstairs, when she comes back down she's all transformed into the typical casino bound retiree. I grabbed Cheryl's BMW keys, and I am headed towards the door. She was not behind me, she was at the sink doing dishes. "MOM...lets go!!" I yell, "Hang on, I have to wash these dishes." There were only 2 coffee cups in the sink. She was stalling. I know her tactics. She has a specific time in that little brain of hers and she does not want to get to the casino a minute before her brain schedule. She was actually washing the coffee cups with Dawn, instead of just putting them in the dishwasher like normal people. Then she even dried the cups. She started wiping down the stove that no one even used yet!!! I yelled again..."I AM GOING!" She yelled back "Hang on, I need to get my gum!" She was rumaging around in the drawer, I saw her gum, it's right on top, she was moving things around like she couldn't find it, all a ploy to waste time. I grabbed a pack of her gum and handed it to her, slammed the drawer and said "Let's go!" "Fine, why are you in such a hurry to lose your money!" she said. I quickly waved my arms around to deflect her negative comment. I am very superstitious, negative words and negative energy will make you lose at the casino. "Mom don't say that!!!" I finally get her in the car and I immediately started chanting my favorite saying I use everytime I am going to a casino. "Money comes to me quickly and easily - Money comes to me quickly and easily - Money comes to me quickly and easily" "Mom say it!!" She was not a believer, and it was too many words for her to remember. So I make her repeat every word after me.

me - Money
Mom - Money
me - Comes
Mom - Comes
me - to me
Mom - to you

I burst out laughing, "Guess I will be the only one who wins today." When we reached the casino, I tried to be the good daughter and stick with my mom. But the fact is, I cannot gamble with my mother around, she is in a constant negative state. She shakes her head no every time the machine spins. "Mom why are you doing that, stop shaking your head no!!!" You are making yourself lose" She yelled at me, "Lori you are so full of shit, you're eyes are brown!" The last straw for me was when I won $40.00 on a machine, she was standing behind me preaching "Take it out, Lori, take that money out before you lose it" She loves the "lose" word. Forget it, Cheryl can be the "good daughter", I went far away from her and it was peaceful except for the chanting in my brain - money comes to me quickly and easily.

Stay tuned for more about my casino trips with mom...

Another Ghostly Encounter...

I made it back from the Adirondack Mountains. I am happy to say, my friendly little ghost did not disappoint me this year. As a matter of fact, he/it, made it perfectly clear, he/it is still around. All statements I am about to write are 100 percent true, I will take a lie detector test, swear on my grandmothers grave, and provide witnesses to all accounts. Read on...

We left for the mountains on a sunny Saturday morning. My car was packed to the gills with suitcases, lawn chairs, blankets, pillows, frisbees, and my trusty fan I bring every year so the gentle humming noise can drown out my moms snoring.

In my car, was me, of course, my daughter Leah, her friend Katie and my black lab, Coal. My sister Cheryl chauffeured my parents, and my son Adam. We met at my parents house at 9:00am. I walk in the door, first thing my dad says to me. "Lori, do not drive over 62 miles an hour." "We are in no hurry, we have all day." I said, "And at that speed, it will take ALLLLLL day." I give Cheryl the "look". One glance and we both knew we would be going 75 mph, or at least whatever speed traffic was moving at. So off we went, happy as could be, Leah, Katie and I, in my Ford Escape, singing to my cds of Neil Diamond, Kelly Clarkson and Maroon Five. Six hours is a long long time without music. I was happy my son brought his I-Pod in my parents car. I was positive no singing was going on in that car.

Along the way, we played the Alphabet car game, and Leah and I filled Katie in about things we do every year in the mountains. Leah said "Mom tell Katie about the ghost." Katie instantly perked up in the back seat she was sharing with Coal, "Yeah, I want to hear all about it." So I, believing she liked ghost stories, tell her everything (see blog from Wednesday, July 21st). We were laughing and joking, I made light of it, I didn't want to freak the poor girl out. She seemed fine and even shared one of her ghost stories with me and Leah. All our chatting made the 6 hours go by fast.

Seeing the "Welcome to Saranac Lake" sign, revives all of us. Leah and I start pointing out familiar landmarks to Katie..."Look there's Mountain Mist Ice Cream, we go there by boat...look, there's the place we rented kayaks last year...look, there's the lake". Finally, we pull up to our beautiful, little, red, haunted cabin number 3. I back my truck in and both carloads pile out to start unloading my car. Once I am unloaded, we start unpacking my parents car, it's like clockwork, we know where everything goes, dads fishing stuff goes out on the screened in porch, moms big sauce kettle goes under the little table by the chair. After so many years it is kind of like home away from home, except for one thing, my home doesn't have a ghost.

Soon my other sisters and their families arrive. Everyone is busy filling empty drawers with their clothes and making up their beds. Except for me, once again, I am stuck out on the couch. The same couch that is directly across from the front door where the ghost's face appeared. I think to myself, "Whatever, I have my dog to protect me". I began to unpack Coal's stuff. His frisbee and balls went to the porch where I could grab them on our way to the beach later. I put his food and water dish right next to the front door. I hung his retractable leash by the handle on a solid, black rod-iron hook next to the front door, above his food.

As everyone finished getting settled we all congragated over my sister Gina's cabin. The men had grilled up hamburgers and hot dogs for dinner. We ate, cleaned up and played a game called Loaded Questions. My nephew, Colin asked me, "So, any ghost sightings yet?" He was half-mocking me. I said, "Nope, but now that it's dark out, I think we should take a walk over to cabin 3 to see if the face is still in the screen door." Everyone was like, "Yeah lets go see!!!" So we all headed over to cabin three. My nephews were making boooo noises, as we walked along the path. "Oh shaddup, my mom said, yous are all crazy, what a bunch of shit!" Which of course made us all laugh. I waited until everyone was safely in the living room and we turned off the first lamp. First lamp - click, "Wait!" I shouted, "we need to turn the outside light on." So I went over and turned the outside light on. Second lamp - click. All of us were facing the door, third and final lamp - click. Gasps could be heard from all over the room. "Yup, still there!!!" My mom, trying to make herself feel better says, "Thats nothing, its just the indents in the screen". My niece Brittany spoke up, "But indents that form a perfect skeletal face, that's freaky. Aunt Lori, I don't know how you are going to sleep in here tonight, but if anything happens you better call me." "Ok Britt, I will, but I doubt anything will happen." I was really torn, I kind of wanted something to happen so I would have proof, but at the same time I was a little scared.

The first night in the mountains usually ends pretty early, everyone is wiped out from the long drive and soon everyone heads off to their own cabins for bed. I got Leah and Katie settled in their room with the bunk beds. Adam went to bed in the room he was sharing with Cheryl. My dad was already asleep in the front bedroom, so it was just me, Cheryl and my mom still up. I made my sad little bed on the couch, I put Coal's dog bed right beneath me, so I could easily reach over and pet him if I needed comfort. I was hoping my mom and Cheryl would stay up long enough for me to fall asleep. But it wasn't long before my mom looked up from her "fill-ins crossword puzzle" and said "Time for bed." Cheryl chipped in, "Yeah, me too I'm exhausted." Trying to sound brave, I said, "Ok, night" inside I was thinking, "NOOOO don't gooooooo!" But they went. There I was, alone in the dark with Coal and the face. I kept telling myself to relax, don't think about it, close your eyes and sleep. Every once in a while I couldn't help myself I had to take a peek at the face just to see if it was still there. Of course it was. I looked down and Coal, he was sleeping peacefully. This gave me courage, if there was a ghost in the cabin Coal would know. I always see that show on Animal Planet about the animals that react to ghosts. However, the vet did instruct me to give Coal four Bendryl every 6 hours for his allergies. Coal was so drugged up, I don't think he would have reacted even if the ghost went up and pulled his tail. That realization took my confidence boost away. Enough is enough, I thought to myself. I am going to sleep, this is silly. I turned my back to the front door and started saying the rosary in my head. The calm, repetitiveness of saying the Hail Mary was comforting and soon I was drifting off to sleep. But before I fully got there, I got this dizzy feeling, I thought a sporatic bout with vertigo was kicking in. Then suddenly this loud crash rang through the cabin. Coal and I jumped a mile, I screamed, "JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!" and ran as fast as I could to Cheryls room. My mother came running out of her room. All the kids were jumping up out of bed. "What the hell was that??" mom said. "I don't know, I am too scared to find out!!" We all went to the living room and my mom turned on the light. There was Coal's retractable leash laying on the floor. I looked at Cheryl with total fear in my eyes, "Oh my God, there is no way for that leash to come off the hook, unless you lifted it up over the hooky part." Cheryl tried to make me feel better, "No, maybe it wasn't on there all the way." I said, "Then why didn't it fall off when everyone was walking in an out of the cabin door all night, what made it just fall off for no reason!!!" Talk about being freaked out. I found myself shaking, then I looked into the faces of Leah and Katie. They were scared. There was no taking it back, they heard the crash and saw our reactions. I tried to smooth it over, and reassure them the leash wasn't on the hook correctly, even though I didn't believe that for a second. We all took turns trying to calm them and between my mom, Cheryl and I, we finally got the girls back into their bunk beds. Needless to say, I was not happy about having to sleep on that couch. I left one of the lamps on in the living room. Ten minutes later the girls were back in the living room with me. They wanted me to sleep in their room. I was only too happy to obligue them. They both wanted the lower bunk so I had to climb up to the top bunk. Once I got up there, I felt relieved I didn't have a face staring at me. However, I was still afraid, but this time it was only from the height of the bunk bed. That was until I noticed my dog, he was standing in the hall in front of our bedroom, all I could see was his back half. He was looking down the hall and his tail was wagging. No one was up, everyone was in their beds and Coal was looking at "something" down the hall that was making him wag his tail. WHAT THE FREAK?????? I was hoping the girls wouldn't notice. A thought occurred to me, which made me fall asleep instantly. If there is a ghost in this cabin. It has not hurt any of us, and now it is making my dog wag his tail, how bad could it be.

The rest of the week went pretty smoothly. We had to call the owner of the cabin because one of the burners on our stove quit working (or maybe our ghost got tired of smelling my moms cooking). When he came in Cheryl and I took the opportunity to batter him with questions about the ghost. John admitted to hearing a couple other renters with ghost stories about cabin three a while ago. He was going to consult with his mother to get the details. So there you have it. I am not crazy. I am going back to the cabin again next year and I hope the friendly ghost shows up.

Do You Believe?

As I have mentioned in previous posts, every summer my family goes up to the Adirondack Mountains for a relaxing vacation. We leave a week from Saturday, my son has already started packing. It's our favorite time of year. Twin Birches is the name of our camp, it's right on the lake and it's the only campsite with a beach front. There are 3 cabins lined up in a row. The cabins are far enough away to need a flashlight walking from one cabin to the other, but close enough for Gina to be able hear my mom swearing at my dad every morning when he wakes her up.

My kids (Adam and Leah) and I share cabin 3 with my parents and Cheryl. My sister Gina and her family have Cabin 2, and my sister Mary and her family have cabin 1. It's so beautiful up there, the lake, the mountains, the loons, and the ghosts! That's right, I said ghosts. Cabin 3, the one my kids and I stay in is haunted. I know it's hard to believe, don't judge, first hear my TRUE stories, then decide. The first time I saw a ghost was 4 years ago. Cheryl and I shared the last bedroom at the end of the hall. My kids, Adam and Leah have the middle bedroom, and my parent stay in the front bedroom. We always leave the bathroom light on and keep the door cracked a little. This casts a faint glow in the hallway. Sleep comes easy in the mountains. The mountain air gives you a peaceful feeling which makes you relaxed and sleepy. After a day filled with swimming, fishing, and serious euchre playing, you welcome bedtime. This particular night, I was sleeping peacefully, when I had a feeling someone was staring at me. I opened my eyes and saw Leah standing in my bedroom door, she was wearing a long white shirt. She looked right at me, turned and walked in the direction of her bedroom. I figured she got up to go to the bathroom and was just checking on me. I fell back to sleep. The next morning I was up early and out fishing with my dad. When we got back, everyone was gathered outside Mary Beth's cabin enjoying bagels for breakfast. My daughter Leah was sitting in a chair, and I said, "Hi LeeLee, did you already change out of your pajamas." She said "No, I am still in my pajamas." This was impossible, I saw her last night wearing a white shirt, and now she had on a red shirt. I said, "Did you change last night, because I saw you when you got up to go to the bathroom and you had a white t-shirt on." She said, "Mom, I didn't change and I didn't get up to go to the bathroom." My head started spinning, I was wracking my brain trying to figure out what I really saw. I know I saw her, or someone who resembled her. I was not dreaming, my eyes were opened and I remember adjusting my pillows after she went away. I was more than a little freaked out. I didn't tell anyone because it was hard for me to believe, and I know my family would just tell me I was crazy, so I just tried to forget about it and chalked it up to an over-active imagination.

The second encounter happened 3 years ago. It was the middle of the night, I had to go to the bathroom. When I reached the hallway, I saw my daughter Leah standing there. I jumped back, my heart was pounding so hard I could hear it. Her hand was in a fist and she was attempting to knock on the wood paneled wall. There was something eerie about the way Leah looked. I thought she must be sleep walking, (something she has never done in her whole life). I carefully went up to her and softly said "Leah". Her head snapped and she looked at me. Which scared the shit out of me again. I said, "What are you doing?" Leah wasn't quite sure herself, she still looked a little foggy. She said "I was sleeping and someone told me to get up, go in the hallway and knock on the wall." I got chills up and down my spine. I didn't want to hear anymore, I was so scared she was going to tell me it was a little girl. I tucked her back into bed. Needless to say, I didn't sleep for the rest of the night.

Now for the third and most convincing encounter. This time it wasn't just me who experienced the ghost(s), I had other witnesses. Two years ago, my nephew Colin (Mary Beth's son) wanted to do a little cabin swapping. He wanted to stay in our cabin, with my parents, Cheryl, me and my kids. We were happy to have him, but we were out of beds. So I volunteered to sleep on the couch in our living room. I was usually the first one up with my dad to go fishing anyway so I didn't mind. Once again I contributed the creepy past experiences to an over-active imagination, and put them out of my mind. Colin said, "Are you sure you want to sleep out here, the door freaks me out, what if you look at the door and see someone standing in the window?" I'm like, "Thanks a lot for the image, but I will be fine." I was fine for the most part, but every night when I got up to take my usual 2:00am pee, I had to look at that dang window in the door, just to make sure no one was staring at me - thanks to Colin. We had bad weather that year, my mother kept a rosary hanging on our doorknob the whole week. On the last night of our trip, she removed the rosary and put it in her purse. This was the night of the "encounter". I will never forget this night, I swear on my sweet, old, Italian Grandma Sarah's grave these are the actual events I experienced.

Like I said, it was our last night there. We all packed up as much as we could to make the next morning less hectic. We all had the end of vacation blues and went to bed pretty early. I was sleeping on the couch, like I did every night of the trip. I woke up feeling very groggy and uncomfortable at about 1:00am. I was still very sleepy, trying to rearrange my blanket and pillows. I turned to sleep on my side, which meant I was facing the door. I slightly opened my eyes, and looked at the window in the door, I saw these pretty orangish-yellow balls outside the window. How this did not jolt me out of my slumber, I have no idea. I remember shutting my eyes thinking how pretty the colors were, I must be dreaming. I struggled to open my heavy eyes again, just to check to see if the balls were still there, not only were the balls still there, but they had clearly become the eyes to a face that now appeared in the window. It looked like someone who had their nose pressed up against the window and were sliding down, making their nose smush up like a pig's nose. I told myself, your dreaming. I closed my eyes again, finally my brain started to register, I told myself, wake up...wake up and check the window again. I slowly opened my eyes again, this time the "glowing eyes" were gone and the face had changed. It was no longer had a pig nosed face, it was without a doubt the face of a skeletal ghost. The head came to such an angle that it appeared the ghost's body was standing on the side of the door, and it leaned its head over to peer in the window. This finally jolted me to total consciousness. I was frozen, I couldn't move. I looked away from the door several times, hoping when I looked back it would be gone. No such luck. I was freaking out. I got the courage to lean over and turn on the lamp. The light made the image in the window disappear. I turned the lamp off again, the face was still there. THAT WAS IT...I turned the light back on and ran into Cheryl and Colin's room. I said, "Cheryl you have to get up, I am freaked out. Wake up!!! Colin, get up come and look in the living room, I am really scared." They both slowly scramble out of bed. Their eyes half-shut. Cheryl comes in the living room, she is standing all hunched over like she's freezing, I had to laugh at her appearance. "What is it? What is your problem?" I walked over to the lamp and turned the light off, and said "Look at the door". Colin saw it right away, he said "What...oh, that face?". Cheryl was so shocked, "Oh my God, oh my God...what happened?? How did it get there!!!" I told them the whole story, I added there was no way I was going to sleep out there alone anymore. Cheryl said "I will get my blanket and stay on the little couch out here with you." Colin said, "You're not leaving me in that back bedroom all by myself!!!!" They kept getting up to look at the window, they would sit back down really fast. "Oh my God!!!!" was the phrase of the night we said at least 100 times. We tried to take a picture of it, but it didn't come out on the digital camera. In all out commotion, my mom, Rose-bud came out of her bedroom. "What's all this noise about, what is going on!!" I said "Mom look at the door." She glanced real fast "You're crazy! You're all full of shit, I'm going back to bed," She looked at the door again. "Oh that's nothing, go back to bed." I said, "Why don't you sleep out here if it's nothing!!!" Walking back to her room she said "No way!" I hear my dad in the bedroom, "Whats going on?" Mom said, "Oh they think they see a face in the door, they're all crazy!!" My poor son Adam comes out of his room holding a pillow up to the side of this face, blocking his view of the door. He had no intention of seeing the ghost. He asked "Is there really a face?" Cheryl answered, "Yes Adam don't look because you won't ever want to come here again." I wanted to get out of that room. I tucked Adam back in bed, went back into the scary living room and asked "What are we going to do, I don't want to sleep out here alone anymore." Cheryl suggested I sleep in the room with her and Colin. We had to share the twin bed. Cheryl gets in the bed and goes way over to the wall, she is so little I had plenty of room. I slept the opposite way with my head down at the end of the bed. Suddenly, at the same time Cheryl and I both bolted up and yelled "WHAT WAS THAT?" We both heard weird voices. Colin tried to make us and himself feel better by telling us it was the lake. We disagreed with him. We laid back down trying to sleep. I was saying the rosary in my head, when I started to get this killer toothache. My tooth just started hurting out of the blue. I thought, good thing we are leaving tomorrow, I can't wait to get out of this cabin and I have to get this tooth checked out. At the same time, Cheryl got a sharp cramp in her leg, it felt like someone was squeezing her lower leg muscle. Neither one of us said a word about our pain until the next morning. Cheryl mentioned her leg to me, and I told her about my toothache and how it disappeared as fast as it came. Coincidence - I think not! This was too unbelievable not to share with everyone. We told Gina's family and Mary's family. They quickly came over to our cabin and were checking out the screen door. My dad said it was the reflection off the garbage can lid---NOT! All the men were laughing at us, telling us we were crazy, its just the dents in the screen door. Ok, how many "dents" in a screen door look exactly like a skeletal face. Plus, I checked that window every night when I got up to go to the bathroom, the face only appeared on the very last night, after the rosary had been removed. I know what I saw that night. I know it was real.

The following year, I have to admit I was a little scared, but mostly excited to go back to the cabin to see if the ghost would still be there. We arrived at the cottages about 2:00pm. Everyone was scrambling to get unpacked. I told everyone to meet in cabin 3 as soon as it gets dark. I wanted to turn off all the lights in our cottage to see if the ghost face was still imprinted on our window. At about 9:30pm everyone was gathered in our living room, (aka known as my sleeping quarters), we turned off all the lights, and gasps could be heard all around the room. The face was still there, looking as scary as it did a year ago. I was so happy they could all experience it I shouted, "SEE, how would you like to get up in the middle of the night with that thing staring at you!!!" The men all said the same thing, "its just the dents in the screen". Whatever - think what you want. I know it was real. My niece Brittany and her friend Colleen believed. They were on "text alert". If I saw anything I was to text them immediately so they could run over and see it too.

Going back to sleep on the couch again, was a little terrifying the first night. I pleaded with the ghosts, leave me alone, don't hurt me, don't freak me out, I will be out of here in a week. I felt a little better because I brought my dog, Coal, with us this time and he was sleeping with me in the living room. Still, I didn't sleep well at all. I kept looking at the window, the face staring back at me. I finally fell asleep and had an uneventful and peaceful nights sleep. My pleading had worked, my confidence grew, and the face didn't seem so scary anymore. Until, Thursday night. I was sound asleep, when I heard my name called clear as a bell. "LORRRI" it was a voice I never heard before. It was so compelling I actually answered it, out loud, "What?". This immediately bolted me from a sound sleep. I have never ever ever talked in my sleep. Here I was, hearing myself answer back. Coal heard it too he lifted his head. I looked at the face. it appeared fuller, clearer, scarier. I ran to get Cheryl..."LOOK AT THE FACE, it called my name!!!!!!!!!" She came out, she was no help this time she said it looked the same to her, I was probably dreaming. Thanks a lot!! I know I wasn't dreaming. I know there is something paranormal going on in the cabin. You may think I am crazy but I am more intrigued by it every year. It hasn't hurt anyone. It just wants to be heard and verified. We leave for the mountains in 7 days. I will keep you updated on any ghost events that may happen this year.

This Explains Everything...

When I was about 4 or 5, my sister's Mary Beth and Gina dropped me on my head. Gina was 9 and Mary Beth was 10. Now I know why my brain is the way it is. My mom was working nights at Lestercoat, my two older sister's, Chery and Charlene were at color guard practice. Gina, Mary Beth and I were home with my darling Dad. It was a stormy night with down-pouring rain, howling wind, constant thunder and lightening strikes. My sisters and I were scared of thunder and lightening, mostly due to the nuns at Holy Ghost. Sister Alphonsa saw her younger sister get struck by lightening, if there was a storm during school, Sister Alphonsa wearing her full nun habit would walk the halls saying the rosary. The image was a scene right out of a horror movie. Being afraid of storms is just one of the many things I can blame on attending a Catholic school. More of that in later blogs.

The storm had us all huddled on the couch near my dad. He tells us he has to leave to pick up Cheryl and Charlene from practice. He told my sisters to watch me and stay in the house. My sisters protested because of the storm, they didn't want to stay home alone. Dad insisted, the school is close, he would be back in 10 minutes. As soon as my dad left Mary Beth (who was always a scardie cat) decided it's too scary to remain home. She convinced Gina they should go over to Aunt Kay and Uncle Dick's house where it would be safe. Gina didn't want to because Dad said "do not leave the house" and when dad spoke...you listened. Mary didn't care, she was more scared of the storm than of my father's wrath. So they bundled up and decided to carry me. They lifted me up together, each with one leg, and attempted to walk across my dad's driveway. This was not a paved driveway. Our driveway was filled with stones and potholes, (the potholes produced the best spots to make mud-pies). Still the driveway was a dangerous place. I tripped and slid and wiped out on this driveway zillions of times when I was little, I've got the scars to prove it.

So, Mary and Gina were trying to carry me over the rugged sharp rocks that was our driveway, while the rain and wind pounded on us. I am not sure who it was, but one of them stumbled on a rock and lost control of me, down I went. My head was the first to hit the driveway. They cracked my head a little, enough to draw blood. I started crying. Now they were in double trouble, one for disobeying and leaving the house and second because I got hurt in the process of disobeying. I don't remember ever getting to Aunt Kay's house, either they aborted the plan once they dropped me or the shock from my injury blocked the memory. All I remember is how mad my dad was when he got home. He was yelling at them and when my dad yelled, it would send chills up your spine. He is usually so easy-going, it was unusual for him to get mad to the point of yelling. My mother on the other hand would yell at us constantly, it never phased us. She used to threaten to hit us with wooden spoons. She never did, we had drawers filled with broken wooden spoons from her banging them on the table. We were immune to hearing her, but dad was a different story. When he yelled you knew it was serious. He told Mary and Gina to get upstairs. They huddled together in Mary's bed. They heard my dad coming up the stairs, they squeezed each other tighter, fearing a spanking was coming. Instead my dad came in and leaned over both of them. With his hands on either side of them, he started bouncing them on the bed. They bounced on every syllable of every word. "I (bounce) told (bounce) you(bounce) not(bounce) to (bounce)leave (bounce)the (bounce) house. (bounce)(bounce) You (bounce)do (bounce)what (bounce)I (bounce)tell (bounce)you (bounce)under(bounce)stand(bounce)(bounce)!!! After he left, Gina and Mary were giggling, that was the best punishment ever!!! I went downstairs and told my dad I wanted the "bounce" punishment too.

I'm Back

I had an interesting week. Mr. Clean (aka Uncle Dick) called me a couple days ago. He wanted to know if I had his weed killer bottle at my house. See, his twin (aka my dad) had borrowed it months ago and never returned it. Uncle Dick wanted to know if maybe my dad brought it over here to kill my weeds. First, I was surprised to even hear my dad cared enough to kill any weeds, whether at my house or his. Second, I was sure I didn't have his weed killer bottle here. I offered Uncle Dick my bottle of weed killer I just bought at Home Depot, but he didn't want that one. He wanted his fancy bottle, that attaches to the end of the hose. He said he searched my parents garage and didn't find it anywhere. The thought of my poor, spotless Uncle Dick rummaging around in my parents borderline hoarder-house looking garage scared me. Don't get me wrong, my parents garage is not that messy to the normal viewer. But when you are there to transform the garage from the winter garage to the summer garage, you see the mounds of junk my dad hoards. He is really good at hiding it. He hides his junk in these leftover cupboards he hung on the wall from our old kitchen. I made the mistake of opening the cupboard door while helping my dad clean the garage, and I swear I saw something slither away. The stuff in the cupboard included old broken hose nozzles, chipped planters still filled with dry dirt, oil cans, wires, old fishing reels, car washing soap and wax from 1982...etc. I begged my dad to let me throw some of this stuff out. I have never seen my dad wash a car ever in my life, but still, he wouldn't let me throw it out. I picked up a lone lid, to whatever, my dad didn't know, but he insisted on keeping it. Then he has this metal shelving unit stuffed with junk. He hung an old ratty curtain over it to hide his hoarding treasures. On these shelves I found this hangy thing made out of sea shells, it once hung in our house, it was ugly then and it is even uglier now that its been in the garage for years collecting dirt and dust. There was also this stuffed flower with a smiley face, it's gross, probably has gnats living in it, do you think he would let me throw that thing out....nope. He said and I quote, "When you bury me, you can throw out anything you want." Which, worked because then I felt guilty. I just know someday I will have that ugly, bug infested stuffed flower hanging in my house because of my dad. I will make Gina take the ugly seashell hangy thing.
Back to poor Uncle Dick, he was telling me how he can't believe my dad would lose this bottle, and he said he was going to make my dad buy him a new one. I was thinking, wow this thing has to be really expensive, it attaches to a hose and everything. I was ready to call Cheryl, she's our "Bank of America" when we have to buy expensive things in an emergency. Then Uncle Dick says, "That's right for once I am going to make him replace what he lost and that bottle was $19.00!" Guess I won't be needing Cheryl.

After hanging up with Uncle Dick, I called Minnesota where my parents are spending the summer. My mom answered. I told her the story about dad losing Uncle Dick's weed killer bottle. Mom started "Lori...let me tell you about your father, he's an asshole, ok? Since we have been here at Cheryls, whats it been a month? He has lost two fishing poles and a pair of Cheryl's sunglasses. Yesterday he came home from fishing and told me his prescription glasses fell into the lake, but the string was still around his neck, so I asked him, how the hell did they come off if you still have the string around your neck? Your father said they just slipped out of the string. So now we have to pay 187.00 to get new ones, but your father doesn't want to pay"....this is where I begin to tune her out, she goes on and on and on...finally I interrupt her and say "Do you realize you have been talking non-stop for 7 minutes, I haven't said a word in 7 minutes!!!!" "Can you please ask Dad if he knows where Uncle Dick's weed killer bottle went" Mom answers in one word "Fine"
When my dad got home from fishing my mom relayed the story to him, (probably a much longer version). Dad called Uncle Dick and told him he left the bottle in either his garage or my Uncle Dicks garage. BIG HELP!

Uncle Dick's garage is spotless, if the bottle was in his garage he would definitely know. So poor Uncle Dick headed back to the hoarders garage and you will be very relieved to hear Uncle Dick finally did find his weed killer bottle in my dad's garage in another hoarding spot by the front door.

Even though my parents garage is far from spotless, it is the place everyone comes on warm summer nights. Like every Italian family out there, my parents transform their garage into a living room in the summer time, complete with custom made screens, mom's old furniture set and rugs. I use the word "rugs" loosely, it's more like remnants. Used remnants that have been torn from rooms my dad tiled. He also took my old oval kitchen rug which lays on top of the remnants. They have a few old welcome mats thrown around on top of other remnants. I am not sure why? We are all constantly tripping on these little rugs with the curled up edges. THROW THEM OUT!!!! But honestly, the garage is so fun. We all hang there, my Aunt Kay and Uncle Dick come over in their jammies. We talk and laugh. But we can't see anyone because my mom makes us sit with the lights off. My mom is a freak when it comes to mosquitos. God forbid you try to leave. You can barely get out the door without her yelling "CLOSE THE DOOR!! You're letting all the mosquitos in!". Can you feel the love?